Why You May Not Click With Someone

Inevitably we all come across that person - the person that we don't click with. It seems that from the moment we met him or her, it wasn't going to fly. Sometimes it's pretty obvious. I once had a boss who, upon meeting her, held out one hand and said, "This is me." She then circled her other hand around the hand that was held out and then said, "This is the universe."

So... the universe revolves around you. Got it.

Sometimes it isn't as obvious. I met a husband and wife who lived in downtown Boston. The husband was a smart, funny, and overall nice guy. He gave off that creepy feeling and I didn't know why. If you're waiting for me to say that he was later caught doing something highly illegal then you'll be disappointed. I hold the belief that the creepy feeling that we get isn't necessarily a sign of imminent danger - rather it's a part of a higher level of chemistry. I really don't think I could be at my best being around the guy and I'm not sure why. I am certain that I wasn't at my best around my ex-boss who insisted she was the center of the universe. I stress the 'ex' part of that.

There are those that you may not click with immediately, but you find yourself warming up to over time. Perhaps it's part of that higher-level chemistry that has finally found a working alignment. Now I'm not going to spout off on an unseen force guiding these dynamics. I will just say that we all experience it and we struggle to explain it.

I, for one, get disappointed with myself for having unwarranted, negative feelings towards someone I just met. Then it hits me - maybe I'm the one who's not aligned with this person. Maybe I'm the one that's causing this negative backlash. A bad day can easily be the culprit for feeling negative but I've found that far too often it's simply because that person reminds me of someone else from my past that I didn't get along with.

Before you avoid someone forever, ask yourself if you've given that person a fair chance. Ask yourself if it's not them and it's actually you causing that creepy feeling.